Happy Pride! For me, this is the second Pride that I’ve really felt apart of. Before that, it’s always been kind of in the background for me. I just wasn’t as aware as I am now. It’s also the second Pride since I’ve realized I’m queer. So, I decided to talk about it a bit and how the bookish community has helped me. I always get a bit nervous when talking about this, even though I feel so much more secure in my identity. I’m not quite sure exactly what this post will end up being, but I know I want to write it.
It’s so weird to think about how it was just last year that I was struggling to figure out if I was bisexual or not. This year, I am bisexual, extremely sure of it, and feel secure in that label. I went from not knowing I was queer, to describing myself as “queer as heck”. It’s cool to see the stark difference. It’s cool to see how comfortable I am now, when I was so back and forth last year.
I firmly believe that the bookish community helped me come to the place I am now. It is so supportive. I was able to meet people who were comfortable enough to publicly talk about it, publicly shout about queer books, and just publicly be themselves. It helped me so much to see how welcoming everyone is of queer people. It helped me feel like it was alright to be questioning and I could take my time figuring things out. I’ll always be grateful for that.
Books have definitely, definitely helped me. Reading books about unapologetically queer people, about coming out stories, about questioning stories, about people who are casually queer, have been so amazing for me. They helped me realize I’m demisexual (I think this is the first time I’m talking about this publicly, so that’s cool!). They helped me realize something else that I’m not quite reading to talk about, but almost. They helped me get to almost. This community has helped me get to almost.
I’m also really grateful for the friends I’ve made. They made me feel comfortable to question my sexuality. They made me feel comfortable to ask questions and were kind enough to answer any that I had. I’ll always be grateful for them.
I dunno, I just think it’s cool to see how far I’ve come. Even a few months ago, I couldn’t see myself writing this post, but here we are. I went from nothing in my Twitter bio, to putting a rainbow flag, to putting bi. I just think it’s cool to see the progression.
I’m writing this post for me and because I want to. But with all the gross stuff going on this Pride, I hope this post was a happy, nice little queer haven. I like being unapolgetically queer during such an unapolgetically queer month.
Thank you for reading!